Because of chronic and imprinted patterns of denial, we have been cut off from the awareness of the power we have, consciously or subconsciously, to magnetize everything that happens to us. A car crash I was in twenty years ago is certainly nothing I would have consciously chosen to manifest, but at that time my subconscious anger denial was so massive and so in control of what I was manifesting that it needed to draw that huge and dramatic an experience in order to get me off the dime toward a choice to intentionally heal what was buried in my subconscious. I was drawing experiences without knowing that I was.
The more unconscious that denial is for me, the more the experience it draws seems random and the more victimized I feel. Yet, it’s all “self chosen”. My emotional body is my Self as intrinsically as any other part of Self. The backlog of emotional denial I have has a direct effect on how consciously or subconsciously I manifest my reality. The feelings themselves want to directly express, not be hidden away. Expression is their natural state of being – being held quiet is not intrinsic to the nature of human emotions.
These experiences we draw that we cannot explain, we cannot explain because the reasons are buried in the subconscious, where old, denied emotions like rage, terror, and hurt live, apart from conscious awareness. We can only recover this awareness piece by piece by “vibrating” or allowing the trapped emotions to rise and show us, our conscious selves, our minds, what they have been holding and the reasons why. My experiences show me where I am denying, insofar as I don’t understand what they are showing me — they are “reflecting” to me, holding up a mirror, of what I am not currently seeing, as well as whatever portion of it I already do understand.
The entire reason for drawing the new experience is to trigger the held emotion and gain resulting awareness and understanding about why I had a similar, original experience way back in the beginning, in my very first incarnation as a manifested being. Once I gain the fullest, deepest understanding I can get on a particular issue, I no longer have to repeat the same kind of unpleasant experience and can finally move on to more pleasant, evolutionary experiences. I’ll only know for sure that “I’m done” with a given issue when similar types of experiences cease, or cease to trigger me.
Only when we can become fully conscious can we consciously create our lives the way we dream them to be. As long as we have most of magnetic selves trapped in the subconscious, the power to manifest in accordance with conscious desire remains latent. The mirror of our experiences and manifestations shows us unfailingly how far we have to go, and in what direction, if we can begin to learn to understand what they are saying about us, not “the other guy.”